Venice! I’m here!

Day One:

So after taking the wrong exit on the m25 towards gatwick, and finding myself in Redhill and then realising the clocks had gone forward and my gate closed in 40 minutes , I finally made it to the south terminal, with about half hour to spare to bag drop!
Easy jet really have made things easy: you actually label your own suitcases now, which I’m sure is going to cause some disasters for people. Checking in I was told my flight was delayed until 2.30… It’s was 11.20. Great! I just stressed and panicked for no reason. Then security, that was fun! Oh did I mention you HAVE to print off your own boarding pass now! Otherwise you can’t get through security.. ??
After going through the little machine checky thing it’s time to take off your shoes and remove loose clothing… Lucky I had any on tbh. And guess what ding ding ding OF COURSE I beep! I always bloody beep.
Whenever I go on holiday I buzz. I go away with Ashley a lot ( my gay bean) who is “of colour” and that little Arab never beeps but me…. Well I always beep!
So I did the whole hands up in the machine that swirls round and flashes where you’re hiding metal objects, luckily enough I’d taken out the metal butt plug I was stretching my arsehole with that morning… Moving on.
I get into the south terminal, all fun and games. Flights delayed which meant tons of annoyed mums and dads with bratty children screeching around.. ??
I found myself a nice little retreat away from everyone so I could check up on emails etc. I found three little seats, I sat smack bang In the middle so that no one would sit next to me. I got all comfy, spread myself out and enjoyed the luxury, and then! This man! Man! Sat next to me and took my arm rest! My arm rest! ?
I’m not really sure where the time went actually I was huffing and puffing about him sitting next to me that I missed my flight being called …. And once I realised I was late I had to get all the way down to the other end of the air port! Thanks cheap old easy jet. Get what you pay for I guess!
I was petty much the last person to board, getting into my window seat was fun… I was sitting next to a couple. She was sitting in the middle seat and him on the isle.
After I sat down she asked him to swap seats so that he was next to me? Strange? Does she not read my blog about married men ??
Anyways we take off and the flights a mess, taking off in the wind was horrible we kept jumping and dropping and swaying, it was mean! Then we DROPPED! Completely dropped! Everyone went quiet, i virtually flew out of my seat, he turns to me to see if I’m ok. Aww how nice. After that a pretty smooth ride, I fell asleep so I think it was ok anyways.

Getting into Venice, I couldn’t find a toilet at the airport that wasn’t being cleaned, wtf, so thought I’d make my way to the hotel. It’s only like 20 minutes away right?
WRONG! My last trip I travel in style, I had a private taxi over the lagoon into Venice, this time I had to travel with the peasants; I mean… I had to use public transport… Jumping onto the Alilaguna I thought 8 stops – 20 minutes/ oh no Jodie, you couldn’t be more wrong. I got on at 18:45- I arrived at San Zac at 21:00!
Busting for a god damn pee!
After half hour on the Alilaguna the novelty wore off BUT I did manage to catch a beautiful sunset!

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I surprisingly found my way to the hotel quite easily!
It was the same one I stayed in last time I had the pleasure of being being in Venice.
Greeted and showed to my beautiful bedroom.
By half past 9 I was down at my favourite restaurant in Venice Agli Artisti. Welcomed by Luca and co!
Nice little salad with a delicious glass of vino. Followed by a few limon Cello. Which in turn got me rather tipsy! Had a nice little chat with the guys and around 22:30 made my way to San Marco square to watch the orchestra play late into the morning ❤️
I fell into bed soon after.

Day 2:
I woke up a little After 11, completely missed breakfast but not really my first concern, Mr Martyn was due to arrive any time! I rushed to get ready. Wondered down to the front to find Martyn waiting at the horse and man statue ( yup it’s not the name but I haven’t a fucking clue) * statue of King Victor Emmanuel II
We checked Mr Martyn in and got some lunch over at DA Roberto for some lunch.
Walked to Rialto bridge
San Salvadore church
Then to Marco Polo courtyard and then into the church San Giovanni Crisostomo where the last Bellini painting hangs – St Christopher and St Jerome

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Then from there we people watched a little an decided to start our own little photography set called Film Noir. This was a little interesting actually. For the rest of the day we spent time searching out little alleys and dark dingy places to shoot, looking for places a little creepy to help with our set!
We did actually manage to find Caesare’s costume store, the one we used to go to closed down and had moved to this place just off of San Marco square, I love his shop!
We are back off to the store on Thursday to find me a costume to prance around in for the day. Anyways mr Martyn and I eventually found ourselfs back at Algi Artisti for dinner!
Dinner and a karaffe of vino later we were ready to finish our Film Noire set, with a little help from the waiters … Two very charming very handsome Italian men. Mr Martyn and I did a few little shots in the restaurant after closing time and had the guys come in to look a little menacing behind me. Worked well.
From here Mr Martyn and I walked down back to San Marco to a little light lite walk way. We started to get some beautiful images when this young Sirlankan boy comes around the corner behind us and asks if we know where a disco is… A disco in Venice? He’s joking right? Mr Martyn Being Mr Martyn starts to have a little chat with this boy and then asks him to be a prop in our Film Noire set… All well and good until the boy asks if he can join us for the rest of the evening, not a problem until he pokes more into what we are shooting. And what I shoot. Asking if I shoot naughty pictures! No! Me! Of course not! Insult!
We find this lovely little hidden bar not far out from our hotel, where we stop in for another glass of wine, with boy in-tow. Boy proceeds to ask questions one of which was
“What do English women prefer- big cocks or little cocks” is this mother fucker for real. Like seriously what is this little prick on. Who in their right mind asks someone they’ve just met that? It’s cringy! I honestly get questions like this so often and I’m pretty sure it’s half the reason I am single and hate people. Boys have no fucking clue how to talk to women any more. Within 5 minutes of talking to me they ask some disgusting revolting question, just because I’m a model does not mean that I am not still a fucking person, get some respects you low life losers.
Well to end that, we left him pretty quickly. Headed back to our hotel and finished the night.
Day 3:
Woke up with a shit state of a hangover after 5 hours sleep. Very much considered skipping breakfast and staying in bed for the morning BUT I seized the day. Knocked on Mr Martyn’s door and to my shock he wasn’t ready! First time in history I think I’ve ever been up and ready before Mr Martyn!

Headed down to get breakfast and catch up with a few work emails! Met two vicars- husband and wife whom clearly were confused when they saw Martyn and I venturing out for the day!

First shoot of the day today was at the Salute ( in the 17th century the Salute was built and dedicated to the Virgin Mary When Venice was preserved from the plague that was ravaging Europe ) got a few very gorgeous images here and then moved on around the island. We stopped for a little drink at a small little restaurant just on The Zattere on the Giudecca Canal.
Somehow we didn’t leave there until 1.30- we left the hotel at 10.30 … Venice kinda consumes time, it’s amazing really where the time goes!
Anyways quick stop into ………… And a few pictures outside here.
Then for lunch, omelette accompanied by vino and some gorgeous sunshine. Martyn and I managed to miss about 3 water taxis in this time which we had planned on getting over to Murano. Eventually we made it over to the island of glass! Where I managed to pick up a few beautiful jewellery pieces.
Had a quick stop off to the local shops to get me some nuts to snack on and quick rant here… Why is it when locals see foreigners they think they still take priority, I was in a cue, waiting to pay for my nuts when this woman with her two fuck faced brats pushes past and puts her two ice creams in front of my nuts, what the actual fuck. I’ve found being in Venice that the Italian men are generally quite nice but the Italian women are just cunts. They all seem so god damn rude. I’m not too sure what their problems are, even their faces, you know those faces, usually the Chatham chav look, dark haired, dark features, dumb as fuck eyes, nothing going on behind them, eyes with no soul behind them, well yes the Italian women all seem to look like that. Fucking miserable, and ready to start an argument at the drop of a pin. You know the faces I mean.  I actually find this for most women who aren’t English, I think the English in general just have a much better common curtsey about them.

Back to my day: so we finished shooting on the island of Murano and heading back to the town……

What will tonight hold ?

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