My non- existent love life

I get this question a lot “why are you still single/ How are you still single”
My honest answer to this is: I cant find someone who I am physically and mentally attracted to. Simple as that.
I either find someone who’s mind I absolutely love but the thought of their penis going anyways near me makes me do this :
Family-Guy-Puke-A-Thon-family-guy.giforrrrr I have this problem:0514e2e60ac2621824984d571b19dfdebffd12-wm
There is absolutely no in-between for me. Well I’ve not found it  yet anyways, well, she says….
Last year I venture to Ibiza for the summer with my best friend. It was an experience I will never forget.
My last week there I matched on Tinder, yes,yes alright, alright I only use it to see who’s in the area… I matched on Tinder with this absolute hottie, I actually assumed his profile was fake,ummed and arred about swiping right or left. Swiping right I didn’t think much would come from it ” you matched” hmm? well that’s interesting. Being an absolute recluse I so totally am… I shut the app and got on with my evening of drinking and partying.
That evening he messages me with ” wow Jodie…I’m trying to work out if you’re real or not?? if you are, you’re absolutely beautiful”
Now you remember that type of guy I told you about earlier? “the guys with abs like washboards and the ones who’s eye colour you cant remember for the life for you but you can describe every mole , freckle, every snail trail hair that points in different directions from that V place to their bellybutton”

That guy, well he is that guy. After a few messages back and forth, he actually got more and more interesting. I enjoyed speaking to him, there was always something to chat about, I had a lot of time for him, unfortunately he didn’t live anywhere near me about 5000miles away actually…  anyways  long story cut short again, he came over to England, we met up, we fucked (average) clearly I expected more from him as a person, well anyways a few weeks later we’re dirty talking, sending a few home made videos to each-other and just being damn right filthy tbh, that afternoon he’s facebook official in a relationship… ekkkkk! What a prick! Now first thing that pops in my head is, why is it always the hot ones? This is where you judge me, did I stop texting him? Did I fuuuuccckkkk… we carried on texting, we carried on the dirty talk, the pictures, the videos. Yup I hold my hands up, I shouldn’t text him but hey I’m single, and he has them V things…
Second hottie: known him a while, met when he had a girlfriend, never hooked up just chatted ( filthy) mostly through the wonderful app Snapchat! Another guy who’s eye colour I honestly couldn’t tell you. So recently after he became single we rekindled. So he knows I have no interest in dating atm, hes’ pretty honest, told me he was kinda dating his ex again etc, but well basically we haven’t stopped the rekindling. Yup again, I’m in the wrong there… I’m not even going to justify myself.  Pros and cons right *blush*
Both of these guys, fairly young, late twenties, that’s probably why their bodies are mind blowing.
The guy, he’s a little older!

I met this gent back in August and here’s the banger I met him on my web-camming site *hides face* whenever I say this I see peoples eyes roll and that disappointing shake to their head, I know, trust me I know. He goes onto what’s realistically a porn site and chats to girls, us innocent, unknowing girls… you don’t see where I’m going with this yet do you? don’t worry you will…! Hes gotta be fucked up right? Well yes of course he is, in his own way, arnt we all. Never been married, had a few long term relationships spent the majority of his life hustling, grating and travelling. Not bad looking either, I mean he’s no Beck’s but he’s a god looking older man, which again leads me to the question, why the fuck is he on a porn site? whats even more odd is, hell never “spy” on a private show, he’ll never watch when I’m stripping off in my cam-room ( I know because I watch his cam- yes I’m a pervert)  He’s like a complete gent on a porn site… The first time I asked him why he doesn’t spy/ watch etc he’s response was ” because it’ll ruin it for me when I see it first hand princess” you’re probably thinking pervert, blah blah blah.

I personally thought he was a cocky confident cunt, at the same time changing my knickers from the instant juiciness he just bestowed in my knickers. After months of camming with him, long phone calls, talking about the world, travel, life, everything, I eventually invited him over to help me build my vanity table- absolutely no pun intended, I needed help putting together a table. He came over and  was a complete gent, fixed my table and also a knot in my back, again no pun. He got his thumbs right in there, sorting out my knots haha! no no honestly.
Next night he comes over and this night wasn’t so innocent, 4 hours of a tantric massage he’d learned the art of whilst travelling, driving me crazy with his mind,his hands, and eventually his body. This hasn’t ever really stopped. Just a few simple words from him and he drives me crazy, there has to be something wrong with him right? I’ll keep you updated on that.
I’m  not really sure of my point here, but I guess what I’m saying is why the fuck is it is that the young hot guys of this generation are ab-tastic but boring as fuck or cant keep their willies to themselves?

SO to recap I guess the reason I’m still single is because I want someone who has their shit together, who I find physically attractive, who’s mind I cant ever get bored of, who’s stories I could listen to forever, who’s taller than me, with broad shoulder, a toned body, dark eyes, sexually stimulating, calls me princess, treats me like a princess, so on and so fourth. Looks like I’ll be single forever.



The day I became a lesbian

Full Video:
Videographer: Deryck Banks
Lead Singer/ Boy : Rachel Evans
Girlfriend: Jodie Ellen

January might have been a little odd for me actually… I had the absolute please of working with Rachel Evans and Deryck Banks on a little music video. Deryck is fantastic videographer, I worked with Deryck two years ago on a little photography project and felt like I met a long lost friend! One of the best photographers I’ve had the pleasure of working with. Randomly out of the blue he calls me and asks me to come along for the day to shoot a little video with him and his good friend Rachel. I’ve never met Rae before and I was a little frightened as you never really know what to expect with models.
I’ve met a few models that’s I’ve honestly been itching to get away from and have prayed to God I never get partnered up with again and I’ve met some models (like Rae) that I’ve never wanted to leave! Rae is such a beautiful talented woman, so friendly, welcoming ( this is where you see the lesbian in me coming out) Rae and her beautiful family welcomed with me open arms into their home. Working with her was an absolute blast! I couldn’t have asked for a better model to shoot this scenario with! Rae sang the backing to this which was just the start of her talent!
I could honestly go on for hours about how beautiful she is and soothing and HOTTT!! But I’ll keep it simple SHES BANGING!

A huge thankyou for Deryck for making this happen:

Full Video :

Inside Jodie


10956-929751423SO, my blog is literally going to be about everything, boys, girls, modelling, models, photographers, webcam, friends, family, sex, drugs, alcohol, gym, holidays, the good days, the bad days… just everything. Its highly likely the majority of you will be offended at some point; I’m not going to apologise because its probably aimed at you in all fairness.

SO, I’m going to start my diary entry from Christmas (even though its February 5th 2015) and give you a bit of a flying update. I moved out of my mothers home in the beginning of November 2015, for the second time that year, my mothers relationship and mine has never really been one to be jealous of. As a child I don’t really remember my mum (Deb) being around. I remember a lot of child minders, being palmed off as often as possible, being in and out of local pubs, straight from school to the pub (thumbs up) although I should thank her for that really, I knew how to chalk a cue and pull a pint before I could spell mummy, thanks ma! Before you think it, no, she wasn’t an alcoholic, her girlfriend ( yes I meant Girlfriend) at the time was/is. Debs one of these women who finds broken people and thinks she can fix them. You’ll figure that out for yourself anyway’s. She wasn’t exactly a paternal women either. I cant remember exactly when it was but I remember my mother telling me years and years ago that she didn’t want children, she had me for my dad more than anything and then he had an affair, she kicked him out and then she was stuck with me. Which was great for her, I was a weapon she could use against my father, child welfare any way she could get money basically.

Back to November, after months of being mental and physically abused by her and her current 26 year old girlfriend I finally had a little bit of money behind me to get out of there. I’d been saving for about 2 months after venturing into the world of web-camming, which is where all the wonderful stories of mine come from!
I’ve moved into a shared house, with a fantastic landlady who leaves me to my own devises and assumes I’m little miss innocent. Well I’m not going to correct her, are you?
Her son (41) moved home a few months ago after separating from an ex, I cant complain too much about him accept he doesn’t know how to close a door quietly, walk instead of stomp and hasn’t quite found his inside voice just yet.
I strangely have no complaints apart from that, I’m close to my gym, I’m close to my local studio and my home location I use to shoot from.

Christmas! I spent Christmas at my best friends house with him and his nan, boxing day with him and his mum, dad, nan, sister and two brother. That was a little odd for me, I’m used to being sat in my room, bored stiff watching shit on tv, scrolling through facebook wondering when I’ll be working next. Although I did spend a little time updating my work profile over Christmas, I had good company and some strong liquor to get me through it. Between Christmas and new years nothing overly exciting happened, work was slow, I couldn’t be asked to webcam, I had absolutely no motivation for anything.

My first day back to work was 5th Jan, 3 hours shooting at my home studio. One of those togs who cant say two words to you, but when it comes to finishing up has thousand ideas spilling out of his mouth! Where the fuck where these idea for the past 3 fucking hours, you know, the time you booked me for?!?
6th Jan- Tog looking to build a portfolio, had booked me at my local Studio, RiverSideStudios in Maidstone, I was a little dubious about this one, he’d contacted me on FB asking if I would shoot with him, these emails go one of two ways. Typically I ask them what experience they have, if they have any references or any previous work, what ideas they have, what they want to shoot, what they are looking for etc, send them my rates and finally ask if they are happy to shoot at RiverSideStudios, being that they’ve contacted me on a network that they haven’t been vetted on. From here I either get the response “sure I’m more than happy to shoot at the studio, it’ll be great experience for me to get used to working in a studio and ill get some professional images for my portfolio” or “I’m not ready to shoot in a studio, but I’d like to shoot you nude in your home location if that’s possible, I have no references, no previous work and I’ll probably use my iPhone, if that’s ok with you” (yes this is a genuine response I’ve had) that is an extreme response but you see where I’m coming from… Thankfully he was happy shooting at RiverSide and long story cut short, was a fantastic guy to work with, who has now joined a few of local profile hosting sites and is building his portfolio working with other models on different projects. Like I said, Ill add the good and the bad in here.

January was pretty standard month for me tbh,  I was shooting most days, webcamming of an evening ,recovering from the Christmas period, training at the gym most evenings. When I say standard, my standard and your standard are probably two very different things.
My “standard” day is: get up late for work, generally no earlier than 10am if I can help it, eat breakfast trying to be mindful that I am meant to be healthy, kettle on, green tea/ coffee to the rescue!
Quick shower to make sure my vagina and arm pits are shaved for the day, occasionally I’ll do a quick shave of my legs. Hair curlers in, makeup on. Give up on trying to get to work on time, casually brush my teeth, pack my gym bag for the day, my work bags usually “packed” from the day before. Packed = stuffed in and hoping for the best.
Get to my location for the day, usually apologising for my lateness whilst putting on the kettle and offering cookies with a smile that’ll melt anyone’s heart.
Having a cup of tea a going through the shoot plan, which usually goes something like ” well I haven’t got a set plan but I was thinking, little bit of fashion, lingerie and some nude and I hear you shoot erotic…. ??”

ergggghhhhhhhh, yes I shoot erotic: with photographers I truth, have great photography skills and know the difference between taking a picture of a pussy and taking a picture of my precious flower.

I then spend the next few hours chitchatting away, throwing the occasional new pose whilst trying to keep the dignity of my precious…. eating cookies and sipping away on tea! obviously working hard at the same time. Snap chatting away with every new outfits just to keep the perverts on there happy… the majority of my snappers are people who have brought that from webcamming so I like to keep them frustrated.
Then generally a trip home to eat and then to the gym.
The gym hmmm this could take a while, this started a few weeks before I moved out of the mothers,  for me going to the gym was a way to keep myself out of the house. I had way too much time on my hands and needed something to do to keep my stress down I had also met this stupidly fit guy, you know what I’m taking about girls, the guys with abs like washboards and the ones who’s eye colour you cant remember for the life for you but you can describe every mole , freckle, every snail trail hair that points in different directions from that V place to their bellybutton… yeah. That type of guy. That was a huge body shock for me. I’ve always thought I’m in good shape meeting him knocked me down a few pegs but gave me the up and go to start eating properly and get into a better physical shape. So that’s where the PT sessions and all that shit comes into it.
Then home to shower,  get naked on cam and repeat my day.